My Mind and it's capabilities...

So my mind has gone to pot. 

That's it end of blog. Full stop. End of story. 

But actually on a serious note, I just had my birthday (Happy Birthday to me) and now I'm 26 which is officially old. The last time I properly studied was for my A Levels 7 years ago and I was always a smart kid, always in the top classes and getting the top marks so I really didn't think this would be much of a step up for me, but WOW my mind is blown. There is just SO much information and I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do with it all...It's just there fumbling about in my brain waiting to be processed but none of the little people in my control centre (I love Inside Out) can work out where it should be sent! 

I started reading our Kortext today and after 35 pages my eyes in a cartoon would have match sticks holding them open and my brain fried on a plate. There's a hundred and one words that I don't know the meaning of and it's very scientific. Safe to say I no longer feel very intelligent😓

I think the thing I hate most about our industry is the assumption that we are 'stupid' and it makes me frustrated coming into this course feeling like I don't know what I'm doing because I KNOW that I am smart and I know that I overcome all challenges that I come across, and I know that this is just a phase. I've spent the past 4 years training and BEING in Musical Theatre and it has been so challenging, mentally, physically and intellectually, I work hard at what I do and I am proud of what I've overcome. I've been thrown in the deep end here but I've always been a good swimmer😜

If I never understand this course at least I can fall back on my puns👍

I've always worked very hard and I like to understand things before I proceed with them so this is hard for me, but change never came from easy. My mum used to say when I struggled with my Maths homework as a literal primary school child, that I always found the problem really difficult because I just COULDN'T understand how it could possibly work, but once she explained it a little and it all slotted into place in my brain it was if there was never an issue in the first place and I could carry on with ease by myself to finish the whole thing. I've always remembered this story because it manifests itself in different areas of my life since then up until present day. I like to remind myself that no matter how big the challenge is and how impossible it seems, I am only ever one crossed wire away from the solution. 

Diary of a Performer xx