23/05/18

Brain Storming...

So today I realised that it's been nearly 6 months since I last performed...OMG!😱 what makes that little revelation worse is that's the longest I've gone not performing since the age of 11...*BRAIN SPARK*💭 No wonder I'm feeling restless and unchallenged, I've stopped doing the one thing that makes me happy! My insight into the human psyche is just astounding! GO ME🙌 

SO, what to do about this?? time for a bit of brain storming I think...

-There is an open mic night every Thursday night that I can go to after work 
-I have a solo singing session almost every day at home
-I could pluck up the courage to go to those dance classes by myself (I was always a shy child, sometimes that shyness shows it's face in the form of dance classes👍)

A few ideas to continue and get started on! GREAT! 

Now to tackle the issue of my ever growing boredom that is my regular work life...

We are on a roll today! 

My ever so wise brother (oh he gets a lot of mentions) 💁 told me to make a mood board...Having been out of the educational system now for 5 years my initial thoughts were when I'm HAPPY😆 I should write down the ideas I have, and when I'm SAD😞 do the same...well after a quick google of the meaning I remembered it's basically just brain storming.🙈 Sometimes I feel that everything I learnt at school has been pushed out for the more important things that are SONG LYRICS👌.

So here we go:
-Private singing lessons
-Continue the family business in London
-Psychology COURSE...yes course...Not degree. Big different.  

I'm a singer, I learnt to sing, I developed a technique from the 4 wonderful singing teachers I've had over my life that I've taken with me and grown from...so why not teach this to others? this obviously needs a lot more planning before moving forward but it's a start WELL DONE ME👏

I've grown up surrounded by dogs, I love animals, I love dogs, more importantly I understand dogs. Why not continue the family dog training business down in London ? PLAUSABLE.💪

I think we've established that I want to learn about Psychology, so my ever so wise brother's ever so wise girlfriend found some courses that don't take 10 years! they only take 1! HOORAAYY 🙌 (because it's not a degree, but degrees aren't the be all and end all you know!) 

Anyway, I think my midlife crisis has brought about some good building blocks and I hope I have the will power/motivation to continue building.

here here!👏

Diary of a Performer xx

22/05/19

So at the age of 23 I've decided I'm having a midlife crisis. Why? Simple. I'm an auditioning performer working an entry level job to get by in the big wide world that is London. 🙌

Okay so that wasn't entirely the truth...I've actually only had one audition this year so far, so really I'm a non-auditioning performer working an entry level job to get by in the big wide world that is London. 🙏

Why don't you get a better job?

Why don't you get more auditions?

Why are you even doing this!?! 

All simple enough questions I suppose...But the answer is a bit more complicated. 

We all know it, we've all had to deal with those who choose the non performing life not truly understanding why we put ourselves through it, and sometimes maybe even we think the same thing, but then when you finally do get your break and you're stood on that stage performing your heart out to that audience who cheer or shed a tear and praise you...WOW💖...there really is no better feeling in the world. Yeah I know you're thinking about it too and smiling to yourself, because that's the feeling we all know and fell in love with a long time ago and have held close to us ever since. 

Oh to live a 'normal' life, the draws of it are endless! Regular income, planning ahead, settling down, knowing where the hell your life is going! But to those of us who were blessed by the performing bug (yes I mean blessed!) that feeling just won't go away. 

So that leads me nicely to being 23 and having a midlife crisis. There is no question in my mind that I want to be a performer. Full Stop. End of. But I was always very academic at school and enjoyed learning *NERD* 💪so now here I am as an adult doing a job that requires no further skill than simply to be a decent human being, (which I believe is the foundation block to great customer service) waiting for auditions that aren't coming through, and my brain is BORED😴. 

Of course it takes more than just being nice to have great customer service but that's not the point I'm trying to make. What I'm trying to say is I'm not being challenged enough. 

My initial idea to combat this was to get a PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE😎 part time. Now for those of you that don't know...that would have taken me 6 years, plus an extra 4 to specialise as a councillor. I'm 23 now so by the time I was 33 I would be able to have a side business that occupied my brain whilst being a performer...hmmm...my very wise brother thought I should maybe find something not quite as incredibly difficult and time consuming as psychology to pass my time, perhaps he's right.😶👀

So where do I go from here?

Diary of a Performer xx