22/05/19

So at the age of 23 I've decided I'm having a midlife crisis. Why? Simple. I'm an auditioning performer working an entry level job to get by in the big wide world that is London. 🙌

Okay so that wasn't entirely the truth...I've actually only had one audition this year so far, so really I'm a non-auditioning performer working an entry level job to get by in the big wide world that is London. 🙏

Why don't you get a better job?

Why don't you get more auditions?

Why are you even doing this!?! 

All simple enough questions I suppose...But the answer is a bit more complicated. 

We all know it, we've all had to deal with those who choose the non performing life not truly understanding why we put ourselves through it, and sometimes maybe even we think the same thing, but then when you finally do get your break and you're stood on that stage performing your heart out to that audience who cheer or shed a tear and praise you...WOW💖...there really is no better feeling in the world. Yeah I know you're thinking about it too and smiling to yourself, because that's the feeling we all know and fell in love with a long time ago and have held close to us ever since. 

Oh to live a 'normal' life, the draws of it are endless! Regular income, planning ahead, settling down, knowing where the hell your life is going! But to those of us who were blessed by the performing bug (yes I mean blessed!) that feeling just won't go away. 

So that leads me nicely to being 23 and having a midlife crisis. There is no question in my mind that I want to be a performer. Full Stop. End of. But I was always very academic at school and enjoyed learning *NERD* 💪so now here I am as an adult doing a job that requires no further skill than simply to be a decent human being, (which I believe is the foundation block to great customer service) waiting for auditions that aren't coming through, and my brain is BORED😴. 

Of course it takes more than just being nice to have great customer service but that's not the point I'm trying to make. What I'm trying to say is I'm not being challenged enough. 

My initial idea to combat this was to get a PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE😎 part time. Now for those of you that don't know...that would have taken me 6 years, plus an extra 4 to specialise as a councillor. I'm 23 now so by the time I was 33 I would be able to have a side business that occupied my brain whilst being a performer...hmmm...my very wise brother thought I should maybe find something not quite as incredibly difficult and time consuming as psychology to pass my time, perhaps he's right.😶👀

So where do I go from here?

Diary of a Performer xx