Audition

Today I was supposed to have an 'all day audition' IN PERSON, however due to Corona it was moved to Zoom. I auditioned once before via Zoom but it was on a much smaller scale and was just me singing. This was a WHOLE NEWWWW WORLDDD (a hundred thousand things to seeeeee...should i reference this?😶) We were first taught a routine and then had individual singing, so let me tell you about my day utilising Web 2.0 to do an audition! 

9:55am: I logged in ready to to start at 10am!

10:10am: I'm still waiting to be let in...

10:20am: We're let in an introduced to the team and see that we're on a Zoom with around 52 people! it was shortly after this that we had to take a short break as the team were having sound difficulties (Corona does not make it easy!) 

My first thoughts were how daunting it was to be online with this many people, of course on platforms such as Facebook and Twitter you are connected with thousands more, but in this let's say more intimate platform I felt a little bit lost in a crowd. This didn't phase me however as the team were great at picking out everyone individually.  

10:30am we started learning the routine, this was when my wifi started to glitch, meaning that I'd try to learn what she was doing but then it would skip ahead to where she was in real time meaning I'd missed some. FUN. Despite this I picked it up well. She taught it in 4 sections which allowed my brain to compartmentalise and learn the moves easier. Repetition also helps me by just going over the same bits again and again, specifically the moves which join the sections together as that's where I usually fall short. My pickup has always been NOT BAD but I really felt the difference here. After dancing online for most of lockdown I no longer felt a slight panic and trusted myself to just know the next moves and what this allowed for was my performance to heighten as I could think about what story I was telling instead of what move I should be doing, how refreshing.

The next major thing that happened was we had to all perform the dance SOLO due to the lag that occurs on Zoom from other people's devices. Can you imagine being in a room for a dance audition and them saying "Right now one at a time" my heart would have sank! HOWEVER I was safe behind my screen so it didn't feel as bad, what it also allowed me to do was believe in myself. Normally in auditions I worry that I'm copying the people in front of me and the minute I have to be at the front I won't know it. Forcing me to do it alone confirmed that I was doing a good job and knew what I was doing. 

1pm: My turn came round to dance. I did it PERFECTLY (if I do say so myself) I felt so good about it and the casting director seemed very happy! until he said that it looked great...from what he could see as it glitched a lot. 👍👍👍 I had to log off run downstairs, log into my Dad's laptop, connect an ethernet cable, bring it all upstairs and get back onto the Zoom. STRESS. I then went straight back into the dance and forgot it. I did it again and forgot it. He understood I was flustered and allowed me to take a breather before going again. Let's reflect on that. I was upset that he hadn't seen all of my great version. I was stressed that I had bad wifi as I wanted everything to be perfect. I was flustered from running round the house trying to sort it out, and I had come out of my 'audition mindset' meaning I was no longer focused on the routine. My breather helped me compose myself again and I did the routine again just fine. I think what I need to work on now is not allowing small knock backs affect me as much as they did. In terms of performance if I make a mistake I am usually fine at carrying on, but as it was something out of my control I hadn't prepared for it. 

3:15pm: I logged back on after a chilled break ready for my singing audition. Now here is (in my opinion) an upside to auditioning online. They were still in the middle of auditioning other people which meant I got to see the competition 😜 I enjoy this as it gives me an understanding as to where I feel I fit in with other people. Now I know you shouldn't compare yourself to other people but I don't use it as a judgemental thing or to psych myself out, I use it as a research opportunity, I could see what the casting director enjoyed, didn't like as much, what I personally felt worked well etc. I find it useful and encouraging. 

Normally in these situations this is where I start to get nervous, however as I was stood in my bathroom at home I felt quite calm. I was allowed to sing all of my songs and he gave me some direction to which he seemed happy with my response and I was asked to do the speech which not all were. So I felt very happy with how it went. 

With Corona Virus being so unpredictable at the moment I'm sure that I'll have to do many more auditions online. To which I am honestly fine with, I think there are a lot of positives that come from it, largely to do with confidence and being comfortable which allows you to be at your very best. But I do miss being in a room with other people and feeling their energy, and obviously not having to rely on a good internet connection. I think what is wonderful is web 2.0 has allowed our industry to continue in some format and give people those jobs and opportunities that we are all so craving for. 

Diary of a Performer xx